I have this... thing (for lack of better word) that I've started doing for the last year and a half. I guess it started about the time God really started shaking my life up. I don't really know how to define it so I made up this term I call 'knowing'. Basically it refers to something I've always 'known' in my mind, concepts, ideas and principles ingrained into my brain via Church, parents, society. The difference between something I 'know' and something I'm 'knowing' is that I've realized these things at a more personal level, transferred them from my mind to really penetrate my heart. I've experienced these things in such a way that I'm left in awe. It's kind of an 'ooooh duh' moment. The moment that I really begin to comprehend the why's and how's. The reason I call it 'knowing' is because it's usually just a start. It causes a series of lessons, becomes a verb per say, something I'm do-ing, learn-ing. It's not just a one time thing but a constant realization.
This was one of those realizations.
I know they say hind sight is 20/20, so this might be a little cliche, but I've really begun to notice God's hand working in my day to day life. As I look back, I really can see how he placed me in certain places at certain times so I could learn and develop in very specific ways in order to prepare me for future events. For example, I really feel like God placed me in the salon I was working in prior to leaving for Australia to teach me things that I wouldn't have learned in the salon I'm in now. As much as I'd like to think I could, I know I wouldn't have been able to succeed without them, which put me in the best possible place then for now. There are a million different situations like that that I'm really noticing were God's hand, but they're harder to explain. Basically, I'm 'knowing' that you can't move on until you've learned the thing you are supposed to learn in one area, or you're really going to muck up in the next season. God is not going to let you go on until He is confident you can handle the next thing. This really poses a struggle for me personally, because it requires a lot of humility and readiness to learn. Often I want to move forward without having to learn the lesson. I get impatient when I think the next thing should be happening, but in reality, I probably couldn't handle it. The second struggle is when I do grow and stretch and push through, only to have the next big thing facing me. I guess the thing I'm 'knowing' right now is to make sure I have my foundation built on a rock in order to have a strong structure. Without a solid base, without being attentive to each step as I take it, I can't build on it, I won't have stability. Now I guess the hardest parts for me are being patient and making the necessary moves in order to be ready for the next thing. I know God isn't going to give me more than I can handle, I just have to understand that He's only going to go as fast as I let Him. He won't give me the next thing till I successfully complete the thing I'm doing. I don't know if this is wrong to say, but I guess God's timing is a bit reliant on ours. His timing relies on our readiness for what He wants to give us, but if we take our sweet time getting ready, He's going to just wait. Maybe being diligent requires us to realize that even our time is not our own. If we want what God has for us we have to start now because who knows how many steps we have to take before God thinks we're ready, and how much time will we have wasted getting there?
