If Grace is an Ocean We're all Sinking

So I'm sitting in this cute little camp site in the middle of the outback in Aus, and it's freaking amazing!! God is unbelievable!! Bryana is here, I'm pretty sure she loves it... who wouldn't love this country.

I was reading in Philippians, and seriously, I learn so freaking much from the Bible. I know that's such a Sunday school revelation, but I think it's something that people who grow up in the church take for granted. Please don't do that!! There's so much gold in there. God teaches me something every time. And it's usually so basic, something that I should know, but just reveled to me in a different way, or with a deeper meaning. Take your time reading the Bible. The best way I've figured out is to have a note book and to write as I'm reading, I find that when I write things work themselves out and become more apparent.

Anyways.. I just wanted to share a bit about what I'm learning. In Philippians 1 it says something about your love becoming more and more in knowledge and depth of insight. I was thinking about me for example, I know that I'm a lovey person, and I think that it's something that God can really use to help me reach people. But it's not enough just to love people. I have this stance that if I love people the way they are, not judging, not circumstantial, then that is a way that I can reach them. I think that because I know for a fact that the world views Christians as super judgmental with a double-standard. And a lot of the non-Christians I know would rather get advice from a non-Christian, and not go to church, not because they don't like church, but because the Christians there are not inviting or accepting. And, I'm sorry, but I know Christians like that. Or at least that's the way they put themselves across. Anyways, I really believe that if you just love on people it's a really good way of showing Jesus without preaching to them and scaring them away. But I'm just learning that the more and more knowledge you have, and the more insight into people and God, the more your love grows. Maybe this is super basic, but I've always just tried my hardest to love on people the way they need it, the way they comprehend it. Like, you can just hug a person that hates being touched. But I think that this concept is more about pressing into God and learning about His love, because His love can reach anyone where they're at. Anyways... I guess if I can try to understand God's love, which is so big and deep it would take more than a lifetime to understand, but if I try, I can love learn how to love people more like Jesus, and therefore show them Jesus through my life. I hope that makes sense.

I seriously love all you all!! I hate to say this, because I sound like I'm bragging, but my heart is so overwhelmed and completely full of love when I think about people. People in my life, my family and friends, the people close to me, and as well for those who I know I'm called reach out. I actually feel like I could cry, because my heart is aching with this, in a good way I think. Maybe it's my friend and her boyfriend playing the piano and singing to God, it's beautiful. =)

Anyways, that's it. <3 <3 <3 XOXOXOXOOXOXO

Clean and Empty

What a mess...

My life, like my stuff scattered mindlessly over this cramped space I call home.
Ideas, dreams, wants, thoughts, goals, desires

thrown carelessly in the chaotic wreck also known as my mind.

Misplaced, mishmashed jumbles.

That hair-sprayed mirror hanging in my cluttered little bathroom knows it all.
She always sees my complete disarray.
She sees the transformation from morning half-consciousness

to the perfectly made-up person I present to the world.

Then at night she judges me.

'What did you do today?
How have you spent your time?
Where did this shift in priorities come from?
How can you forget so easily?'

I haven't forgotten

I just don't want to remember.

They say old habits die hard, but
Did they ever try a completely new personality?

Who is this person I'm looking at?
I'm still trying to figure her out.
She's beautiful, she's bold

her eyes are clear like crystals.

Maybe that's the problem.

Ignorance is bliss.

So how do I clean up this mind?
Where is the beauty from ashes?
I can't even figure out what is what, or which goes where.
I'm supposed to think about what is pure and noble

true, lovely and right, but

What are those things?
Overwhelm has turned from an adjective into a state of being.


My heart aches from desperation

and I'm drowning in Your love.