Bring Me Back

Okay, first of all I just need to bring myself back to a place where God is powerful above all things. 

It’s so easy to get lost in the hopelessness of our society and drown in the notion that everything is so massively screwed up beyond repair. 

I just need to bring myself back to a place where I remember God’s bigness in everything.  That, while I’m sitting, dejected, overwhelmed over the monumental task of grasping, understanding and longing to find a cure for the current world state, God is mightier still. 

So I’m just going to take a moment to consider the complexity of the stars, of the earth, of nature and individual make-up.  And then bring myself back to a place where an unfathomable being created all of that, knows it so thoroughly, and loves it so completely.  Society, history can be studied, labeled and understood, whereas it is ridiculous for me to try to limit God to something I am capable of comprehending. 

So here I am.  Coming back from reading about a hopeless world state, back to awe, to an understanding of complete reliance on a God that is bigger, mightier, stronger, just, holy and reliable.   My heart is overwhelmed. 

You Make me New

 "The Only Person you are Destined to Become is the Person you Decide to Be."

“Sow an act, and you reap a habit; sow a habit, and you reap a character.”

I just think it’s about time I crack down and take ownership of my own faith.  I feel like God has bailed me out a couple times now and it’s getting to the point where I feel like He’s telling me that I can’t just wait around for Him to intervene all the time.  If I want a genuine and good relationship I have to put the work into it myself. 

I’m also realizing I’m kind of the queen of excuses.  I always complain that diligence and discipline are my biggest struggles, and I do struggle with it, but there has to be some way of pushing through lack of determination and developing strong enough habits to create natural diligence. 

I guess basically, I can’t just sit here and ‘why God’ until “He shows up” because I know He’s done that for me a few times already.  It’s time for me to step up and own the things He’s done for me and quit the excuses and just do it on my own.  He’s already shown me that “perfect love casts out all fear” and that “He has not given me a spirit of fear but of power and love”; He’s “created in me a clean heart” and promised a deep and meaningful relationship that I don’t deserve. 

If I want to be a person of faith and have a strong relationship with the creator of the universe I have to stop thinking that He'll just do all the work and I can just breeze by through grace.  I know he has grace enough for my shortcomings and failures, but that doesn’t mean I have no responsibilities at all. 

If I want to be a woman of God I have to just decide to become her and stick to it.  This is who I am, this is what was promised to me, I am going to own this promise and walk in this decision.