What do I want people to say about me at the end of this semester??
The next three and a half months may be my last here in Oz. I have so many mixed emotions, so many thoughts, lots to do and say. In all honesty, I have no idea what people think about me. Sometimes someone will tell me their opinion, most of the time I like it, sometimes I don't. I don't think we can really know what people think, and we can say what we want them to, but usually there's a big difference between the two. So I guess what I'm about to say is more of a goal, someone I'm striving to be. I feel kinda vulnerable right now, and I'm slightly scared to post this because what if I don't end up succeeding? I hope maybe my past blogs on judgment and grace will have some effect in that case. Can I just say though that I'm actually trying, working, striving. It's a journey and I don't think I'll ever arrive.
I want to be a person full of grace and compassion. I want to be truthful and transparent. I want to love beyond my own ability. I want the will of God and the fruits of the spirit to be active and evident in my life, not for my own benefit but for the benefit of others.
How does this happen?
Dear Future Self... (and anyone who wants to claim this for themselves)
I just want to write to encourage you. I'm learning new and exciting things, and I want to document it now so later, when struggles and things come up, you can go back to it and be reminded.
You are blessed! You are a person of great worth. You have something to offer. When you are struggling or going through hard times, remember God's will for your life. Remember His promises. He wants to bless you, He wants to give you good things. You know His power, you've felt His love. Now it's up to you. God has already done the hard stuff. All He's asking of you is to remain in Him. Put your trust in Him, nail it down. You know His goodness and you know He is trustworthy. You don't need to question it. Nail it in your heart and stay there. Cling to Him and He will take care of you. Sure He will prune you, cut things out of your life. But, like in a diamond, the better the cut the more it's value is shown. Make your home in His love. Put your heart fully in His hands and let His fingers be the filter of what goes in and out of your life. When you do get cut, when you are pruned, it only helps create better fruit, bigger opportunities in the long run. Remember, the things that come from your life, the fruits of the spirit, are for others, and God's will for you is only to benefit the world that He is so madly, passionately in love with. He will help you produce good fruit, because you are planted in Him, you are planted in good soil.
Don't be discouraged. Look up, focus your eyes, take a deep breath, plant your feet in place and remain, stay, cling to God. He won't let you down. He does all things well, including you.
I remember when you didn`t think you were capable of writing a 'good' blog. =) You have far exceed that hurdle.
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